Am I too hard on myself?

Candice Nolan / Dec 19, 2019

Am I too hard on myself?


If there was an emoji to describe my state of mind about my state of mind, it would be the :facepalm: emoji. Argh, I’m such an idiot! Why did I say that? What was I thinking? Argh!

This is the narrative that runs through my head all day everyday. I’m not sure if its a symptom of my illness, or simply the way I am. On second thoughts, it must be a symptom. It cannot be normal.

I second guess myself all the time. Sometimes, it keeps me up at night. Bothering about things that I shouldn’t be bothered about. Silly, inconsequential things.

Like today, for instance, some big shot from Audi SA, called about the incident with my wheel. I somehow got it into my head that I deserved compensation for what had happened. Blew my case right there and then.

Well, that’s what I think anyway. Almost pleading, begging, for you, dear reader, to pat me on the shoulder and tell me it will all be okay. It will all be okay. Because ultimately, I did get compensation.

The refund came through. The refund of the money they forced me to pay to fix the wheel. What more could I possibly want? Also, I got rid of that car faster than you can say re-tyre.

And I got a call from the head huncho at Audi SA, who vowed to take my complaint further with the dealership. It is, after all, a situation that should never have happened.

Had the dealer done proper inspections of my tyres when they were given the opportunity to do so, this all could have been avoided. And ultimately, this was really the straw that broke the camels back.

I look back over the millions of straws – bad service, extortion, condescending attitudes and rudeness – that mark my time with Audi Centre Westrand (near Clearwater).

Not once was I made to feel like a valued customer. I certainly never considered that I was driving a luxury vehicle. The people were cold and hostile. To put it simply, I never felt like I fit in.

It’s possible that I’m overthinking all of this. It’s also just as plausible that it is the truth. I believe it was H. Jackson Brown Jr. who said “People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

That said, the Audi brand is stripped of its status as a luxury car brand. For me anyway. Sure, a big shot called me from Audi SA. But he made me feel as though I was over reacting. He didn’t say it outright, but he was like “Look, you traded it in, the wheel didn’t actually come off, and we refunded you, no harm no foul”.

Not once did he apologise or express any sympathy over, what he termed, “the incident. He seemed only to be responding to the mini social media storm I had created over the incident. Damage control, I guess. But he made me feel silly and negligible.

It’s like Audi SA has so many customers that they cannot be bothered about the one lady who had a really bad experience. It’s sad really. But, that’s life, I guess. I need to work on putting it behind me and moving on. For that, I need to convince myself that feelings aren’t facts.

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