Awombness: Cyclical Insanity

Candice Nolan / Nov 8, 2020

Awombness: Cyclical Insanity

I attended a lecture, given by my Psychiatrist, Dr Caryn Van Wyk. That’s where I picked up the title for this week’s edition of Awombness: Cyclical Insanity. Dr Caryn has taught me much about my dis ease. It took two years for me to accept the diagnosis/label of Bipolar 1 Mood disorder. Now, I quite like my diagnosis, thank you very much. It suits my purposes. Without it, I’m just an asshole.

During the lockdown, the delusions took over completely. At first they had me freaked out with apocalyptical visions of armageddon (circa coronavirus). It was also rather odd, to have all your dreams of doom and gloom realised. Such as the fact, now recognised by WHO, that the virus is airborne.

But the Lithium was working. So well, in fact, that I decided I could go it alone. And slay the dragons of my dis ease all by my damn self. And I did. Man, I was all powerful. But kind, you know, like Mother Theresa with a God complex. Only I wasn’t Mother Theresa. I was fallible me.

Thank goodness I have an amazing support structure. In my husband. In my sister. In my mother. And I am most definitely on the mend. Thanks to the lovely people at the hospital, the OT’s especially, who introduced me to diamond art (like paint by numbers but with ity bity beads).

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