Awombness: The Boxer

Candice Nolan / Nov 11, 2020

Awombness: The Boxer


Awombness: The Boxer

My favourite song of all time

There are all kinds of interesting South Africans at the funny farm. I can call it that because I’m funny. But you can’t, ’cause you’re not! A few days ago I met a local hip hop artists who goes by the name Jonny Joburg.

He told us (I was sitting with a group of friends) that he came straight from Johannesburg Prison, otherwise known as Sin City. Jonny Joburg says he was serving time over the theft of exactly 60 thousand Randelas. And that he manipulated the prison into sending him to a posh Psychiatric hospital.

He then proceeded to show us his stigmata. On some, I’m not saying I’m the messiah… Then I heard he was smoking weed, rolled in pages of the bible. Said it gave him a higher high. The guy is proper cooked, yo!

Oh, and he gave me (a whole entire journalist) permission to write about him. We shook on it and everything. I corroborated the weed story with three independent sources. Strange things happen behind these high walls. But no one is stranger (or scarier) than the boxer.

Now, this fella (whom I shall not name for obvious reasons) polices the hallways with clenched fists. Always clenched. Sometimes he mutters things to his notes in class. But he has a very neat handwriting. Now for the clincher. This guy was attacking the plant at the entrance of one of the wards.

I mean he was blikseming a plant. A waifish little pot-plant keeping guard near the lift. My room mate saw him with her own eyes. And she showed a mutual friend. I was laughing so hard, I was crying. He inspired the title of this post. Just this morning he called me over to tell me “Thank you for having my back. That’s all I wanted to say.”

Oh yes, and the guy who burnt off his tattoo with hot oil in order to qualify for admission to the police service. But he failed his psychiatric exam so it was all in vain. Now he just has an ugly scar on his arm. But his story makes me sad! They should have allowed him to serve and protect!

Vele if he only knew I was mocking his back. Apparently he enjoys discussing the Illuminati and apologised “for everything” to a fellow patient. I have met some amazing South Africans in this place. They inspire me to be more patriotic and less unforgiving. Hell, I even started praating the taal again! Salut masekinnes!

Please follow and like us:
Submit your review
1
2
3
4
5
Submit
     
Cancel

Create your own review

blog
Average rating:  
 1 reviews
byAnonymous onblog
I love you

I am placing you in our Fathers palm of grace and mercy. I cannot find a better place to cradle you. You are awesome and wonderfully made. You are unique and special. Love you lots.😍😍😍😍

Thank you for your comment πŸ™‚