A friend reminded me today, not to be too quick to anticipate the next milestone. She isn’t walking yet. But with walking, comes a whole new set of challenges. My buddy says its best to savour the moment. Live in the now.
In the bigger scheme of things, I suppose, it doesn’t matter if your child starts walking at 8 months or at 14. But I am feeling the pressure. Babies younger than her have already taken their first steps. So, I’m worried. What if something is wrong. Stop! Stinking thinking! She will walk when she is ready. And it might not be before her first birthday (The Horror). Lol.
I am in two minds alot lately. Keep falling into the same old tired patterns. Rehashing yesterday. Rehearsing tomorrow. Looking for problems in a bag full of solutions. No pills can help with that. I have to chek myself constantly.
Saw my psychologist today, with my “diagnosis” weighing heavy on my mind. She brings a whole new perspective to my therapy – spirituality. She is the third therapist I have consulted with, and by far my favourite.
She says “Bipolar” is a pattern of behaviour that stems from 100 years of scientific research. The diagnosis is not exact and can never be scientifically ascertained. It’s just one doctor’s perspective, based on a chronological history of my life.
The bible speaks about how there is a time and place for everything under the sun. Joy. Sadness. And sometimes it’s rather like the weather in Cape Town: four seasons in one day.
I don’t have to live by my diagnosis and operate within it’s strictures: Oh, I am feeling super creative today, must be hypomanic! Rubbish! I am a creative individual, with my own unique strengths. Why put it all down to the swinging of a pendulum, an affliction, something that needs to be fixed?
Anyway, I am still grappling with this “disgnosis”. I have much food for thought, though! Feeling a little less afraid.