Today, as we mark baby’s tenth month outside the womb, it seems apt to share our birth story.
One thing I have to be grateful for, is the fact that I was able to deliver my baby naturally. To make that possible, I started consulting a midwife about midway through my pregnancy. The gynae had ruled out any major issues and complications and I was a candidate for a natural delivery.
My baby girl was born on Tuesday, the 1st of November at approximately 8h50AM. I was fortunate in that, although intense, my labour was relatively short. All my wishes came true: I was present (be careful what you wish for. I swore I stared death in the eye); I was able to deliver vaginally and relatively drug free (they gave me pethidene to “take the edge off”, all it did was make me drowsy as I continued to plead for ALL the drugs).
It’s true what the instructor said in the birth prep workshop, there comes a point when your old self dies and the mother is born. I fought the delivery. I was ready to give up! I begged for a C-section when I was fully dilated! But when I finally stopped fighting, I swear I saw the face of God. I asked Him to take over. And as the midwife turned to ask if my mom would like to catch the baby, my body gave one huge push and baby was born, head, shoulders and all!
The mifwife described it as a textbook delivery. The only part of my birthplan, I didn’t meet was having a waterbirth. “Maybe next time”, quipped the midwife. 🤣 I don’t know about that, hey!
Before the labour, I had read that the way one is birthed impacts on your future prospects, IQ etc. I am grateful that I was able to give my baby the best start to life. I also credit it for the fact that she is so healthy and even when ill, she is able to fight off infection relatively quickly.
What also amazes me is how the labour transformed my husband. Prior the birth, he insisted he didn’t wanna end up on the business end when the “time” came. But he proved an amazing birthing partner, he was with me in the thick of things. He witnessed his daughter being born and was transformed in that moment.
The best description for post natal depression came from my psychologist. She says its when a woman struggles with the change in identity from maiden to mother. I guess, part of me is still mourning the death of the maiden while struggling to embrace the newly birthed mother.