Gratitude

Candice Nolan / Mar 30, 2019

Gratitude


After my last episode, I managed to see a glimmer of light. I have a penchant for the dramatic. Or so, I’ve been told over the years. Things are never as bad as they seem. Mostly.

I just heard news that some people who have been at awkward park far longer than I, will not be having their contracts renewed. Just like that. The end of the road. That is certainly something to be grateful for. That I have a permanent job.

But I heard they are coming for us permanent staffers soon. Using the LIFO (Last In First Out policy). I’m abit disappointed by that. I’ve been in my department the longest. So, I have this ongoing debate with myself: should I approach the dragon and let her know of my willingness to be retrenched? Or do I bide my time and wait for them to come?

Sometimes this feels like an unwinnable game. That’s when I start feeling despondent. As I have expressed previously, I am deeply unhappy in my job. I would grab any chance to leave, provided I am compensated for my years of loyal service. Being unhappy in the workplace, is no excuse for letting yourself go. I approach every assignment with gusto and determination. I have maintained the standards I have set for myself.

On the home front, however, procrastination lurks. The fear of failure. The fear of succeeding. It’s a tightrope. I should be attending to that crime podcast, and yet, here I am procrastinating. Onward.

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