Candice Nolan / Mar 26, 2019


Just watched the documentary titled “The disappearance of Madeleine McCann”. Before watching it, I was rather glib about the subject. I would say things like “But didn’t they say the parents did it?!”. So flippant. Now I’m so sorry.

The bit that haunts me is the story of one of the many private investigators on the case. He delved into the dark web, where all these predators lurk. He said he saw a side of humanity that he can never escape. The monster. You only got into those circles by circulating images yourself and making lewd comments. You would be introduced by a “friend”.

That bit gets me. My job requires me to document stories. To look where nobody wants to hide. To pry, sometimes. I do not think I could survive a trip down that rabbit hole. The PI’s eyes. They are haunted. It’s like he has seen evil. Pure evil. And he will never be the same again.

I have a daughter. I am too afraid to divulge more than that. And I do not want her to be associated with these haunted imaginings of deep pain and trauma. A year ago to this day we were in hospital. She was battling bacterial meningitis. It was pretty touch and go. There was alot of crying and angst. Bewilderment. She pulled through in the end.

I cannot begin to imagine what Kate and Gerry McCann must be going through. Honestly, I do not want to try. My prayers are with you always.

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