I am starting to reap the rewards of motherhood. It feels good to be able to comfort her with some breastmilk when she’s feeling overwhelmed. And how sweet when she gently lays her head on my chest when she’s ready to sleep.
She really is a pleasant little girl. Only cries when she’s frustrated or tired. I am learning her cues. I was too afraid to notice them before.
I realise that although I felt inadequate, I was the only normal she knows. Before, I’d simply go through the motions, often uncertain, always cautious. We got past that stage, and now that my depression is being addressed, we can really get to know one another.
As a further consolation, I came across an article (see link below), which suggests baby is likely not to remember much from her first year. So, all my mistakes, real or imagined, will simply fade into obscurity! Clean slate. Reset. Awesome.