I have been mulling this over in my mind for weeks now. Part of my recovery depends on being honest with myself. But, can you, my audience, handle the truth? What about anonymity? 🤔
It all goes back to the reason I started this blog. There is a dearth of honest voices on these www streets. So, I am going to entrust myself to you. Bare my soul.
In early 2014, I discovered a truth about myself. A cutting truth. A stark truth. I am an alcoholic. Believe me, nearly four years later, it is as hard typing those words as it was confessing them.
Why am I telling you this? Well, because, I believe, my drinking was motivated by depression. Alot of the symptoms I am experiencing with post-natal depression, were echoed in my abuse of alcohol.
It is a part of what shapes me. A demon I face, and have succesfully defeated for 1331 days. One day at a time. The principles of AA, I’ve always felt, would be useful for all non-alcoholics.
“Life on life’s terms” is an AA motto which really started to ring true for me while in hospital. Up to that point, I had been rebelling, pushing against the grain. And I was exhausted. Exhausted with having to wear a mask, with having to pretend I had it all figured out.
Being an alcoholic forces me to live honestly. The support in those rooms is invaluable. I am a proud survivor. Alcohol would have, almost certainly destroyed me. I wear my recovery as a badge of honour.
Cheers. LOL 🤣